Post by Teяa253 on Apr 7, 2008 4:29:28 GMT 1
Tera: (banging her head against the wall) I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself...
MURDEROUS REGRET
I was walking forward, with no thought as to where I was going. I was just walking. I was mad, depressed, confused, and sorrowful. I was a supernatural, a being so powerful that I could bend anything I pleased. However, these powers had come at an unexpected price. I was never accepted by anyone. Everyone hated me.
I can’t say I helped my already black image any though. Since no one liked me, I hated everyone else in return. I became prejudiced against humans, because humans became prejudiced against me. However, that is not the issue at hand anymore. Now the issue is me trying to break my old habit of bloodlust. It had developed many years ago, and now I was reaping the regrets of it. I was unable to break the habit. The people I usually targeted were the younger ones, particularly benders. I would never kill them; I would just attack them and drink their blood. The older ones and the non-benders, who were also the ones that hated me the most, were the ones I killed. I had a passion for talented benders, especially when they were in their youth.
Now, back then, cornering a talented bender and then attacking despite their pleas or fears would have been seen by me as highly amusing. Now, however, looking back, I was disgusted with what I did. I admit that the act itself was not disgusting, but the way I did it was just so... so... it made me so frustrated to think about it. Worse yet, guilt had to set in. When I look back and remember the pleas of every person I had ever attacked, it just made me sick.
So what cause my sudden change of heart? Perhaps it was sympathy?
I knew what it was. Sympathy came later. It was because of a little firebender. She was young, incredibly talented, and, she was blind. I had last attacked her on her 14th birthday. It was after this attack that I began to realize that what I was doing was terrible and ridiculous. It was the little girl’s reaction.
Sanaki Li Chan, however, had tasted so sweet. She was the little blind firebender. She screamed when I attacked her, but that was expected. The unusual part was that when I latched onto the side of her neck, she did not resist at all. She didn’t even utter a word. To make matters worse on me, when all was said and done, she had forgiven me. I had scarred her small, beautiful, innocent body, and she had forgiven me. Even more so, she then asked if we could be friends.
I had since accepted her friendship, and we had grown close. I do not know what she felt in me, but I felt that she had great potential and power. This is where our story picked up.
As I was walking, I stopped. I heard something. After all, my ears were huge, so I could hear things from far away. I heard little miss Li Chan coming towards me.
“Hi Tera,” she said to me,
Hello Sanaki,” I muttered back, sounding depressed,
“What’s the matter?” she asked me,
“It’s the same as usual,” I complained, “I hate my life.”
“Most people would mock you, Tera,” said Sanaki, “But not me. I respect that.” And then Sanaki hugged me. My eyes widened, and I was glad she was blind. I felt so bad, especially with what I was about to tell her.”
“Sanaki,” I said, “I’m still dangerous.” I proceeded to tell her about my inexplicable bloodlust.
“Tera,” said Sanaki, “if it will keep you calm, I’ll let you have me right now. I don’t want to make you suffer or enhance the lusting.”
I stopped. She was offering herself up to me freely. This could be my chance to relentlessly drink as much of her blood as I pleased. I flipped my finger and a claw formed. I slowly ran it down the scar on her neck. My claw was sharp enough that it was cutting her wound open again. A fine line of blood began seeping out of it. I looked at her face. Sanaki had simply closed her eyes and was waiting for the worst. I noticed that tears were forming in her eyes. I stopped, and the claw on my hand disappeared. What was I doing? Was this how I was supposed to repay the girl who had done so much good to me and had never hurt me? I could not continue. However, I could feel that my sense of bloodlust was returning, as it periodically did.
“Sanaki,” I said, “run. Quickly;”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Sanaki declared, “You need to end this now. I’ll fight you if I have to.”
This had set me off. The more I looked at her bleeding neck, the more I lusted for her sweet tasting blood and the flesh around her neck. I needed motivational material.
“Sanaki,” I boomed, “I’m gonna rip your scrawny little frame to pieces here and now!!”
Now normally, if I had said this, I would be kidding, but I was no longer in control of myself; I was bent on killing her and ripping her to shreds. She got the hint and took off. I could tell that she was genuinely afraid. I grinned menacingly and took off after her.
She was absurdly fast, and catching up to Sanaki took a while. After all, I liked my prey on the run. I caught up to her, and noticed that she was weakening. Sanaki had a slight breathing problem, and it was now kicking in. I used this as my chance. I dove through the air and caught Sanaki mid-jump, slamming her to the ground. She screamed frantically, and I laughed.
I had a memory of my face during this incident. At the particular moment though I didn’t care, but after seeing myself, I was so ashamed and sorrowful. The look on my face was a crazed one of mad bloodlust and arrogant triumph.
After I slammed Sanaki to the ground I picked her up and slammed her on her back. After all she had landed face down originally. I pinned her down, but was in for a surprise. She was fighting back with swift moves. I needed to stop her from firebending, but I had no way of doing so. There was only 1 way: I clasped both my hands onto her neck and began choking her.
“Tera,” she said weakly with what would soon be her last breath, “Tera, I’m sorry. It’s... me...”
I watched as she struggled against me. She was turning purple, and soon, blue. Her struggling became slower and slower. She was dying.
And then something happened that I did not expect.
Sanaki threw her hand at me and it stroked my ear. I recalled the soft, angelic touch. This was Sanaki. What was I doing trying to kill her? All of a sudden I regained control of myself. I immediately threw myself off of her. I heard her gasping loudly for breath. I remembered that for at least an hour after the event, Sanaki was breathing very heavily. Right now, she was still trying to recover.
“Tera,” she said, before I could apologize, “Tera, I’m so sorry!”
I had this repulsed look on my face. I was so mad at myself now. I had just tried to kill her, and she was so quick to sympathize with me that I hadn’t even apologized yet.
“You told me to run,” she said, “you’ve warned me of it before. I was so stupid for trying to oppose you.”
“No!” I shouted, “Sanaki, this is entirely my fault. It’s my fault that I just tried to choke you to death. It’s my fault that I cut your scar open. It’s my fault that I slammed you to the ground with the intent of killing you!”
Sanaki said nothing.
“Tera,” she said, “What are we going to do with your habit?”
“I’m going to stay away from you at all costs when I feel it coming.” I replied, “You are going to do the same. Otherwise, I might end up killing you. We are both lucky that I did not.”
“Okay,” said Sanaki quietly. She was still breathing heavily. “Tera, despite that, I know that you had no choice on the matter. I forgive you again. Just… can you please try harder?”
“Sanaki,” I said, my guilt kicking me in the chest harder than ever, “I am going to do everything in my power to make sure this does not happen again. I’ll work myself nonstop for a month if that’s what it takes. I... I just... I don’t want to hurt you...
I stopped, and embraced her. I felt water forming in my eyes. This was unbelievable. I couldn’t be crying. It had been hundreds of years since I had actually started crying. No, this... this... this just could not happen...
And yet it was. And Sanaki had joined in, most likely in sympathy for me.
“Sanaki,” I said, “don’t ever let me get close to you again if you notice something different about me. I know you can detect heat patterns. Mine get very erratic when I go into that phase. Just...”
“I will,” Sanaki replied, “thanks for being here, Tera. Thanks for having the control to spare me.”
I was speechless. Again, I just wept.
Tera:...
~Katara~
MURDEROUS REGRET
I was walking forward, with no thought as to where I was going. I was just walking. I was mad, depressed, confused, and sorrowful. I was a supernatural, a being so powerful that I could bend anything I pleased. However, these powers had come at an unexpected price. I was never accepted by anyone. Everyone hated me.
I can’t say I helped my already black image any though. Since no one liked me, I hated everyone else in return. I became prejudiced against humans, because humans became prejudiced against me. However, that is not the issue at hand anymore. Now the issue is me trying to break my old habit of bloodlust. It had developed many years ago, and now I was reaping the regrets of it. I was unable to break the habit. The people I usually targeted were the younger ones, particularly benders. I would never kill them; I would just attack them and drink their blood. The older ones and the non-benders, who were also the ones that hated me the most, were the ones I killed. I had a passion for talented benders, especially when they were in their youth.
Now, back then, cornering a talented bender and then attacking despite their pleas or fears would have been seen by me as highly amusing. Now, however, looking back, I was disgusted with what I did. I admit that the act itself was not disgusting, but the way I did it was just so... so... it made me so frustrated to think about it. Worse yet, guilt had to set in. When I look back and remember the pleas of every person I had ever attacked, it just made me sick.
So what cause my sudden change of heart? Perhaps it was sympathy?
I knew what it was. Sympathy came later. It was because of a little firebender. She was young, incredibly talented, and, she was blind. I had last attacked her on her 14th birthday. It was after this attack that I began to realize that what I was doing was terrible and ridiculous. It was the little girl’s reaction.
Sanaki Li Chan, however, had tasted so sweet. She was the little blind firebender. She screamed when I attacked her, but that was expected. The unusual part was that when I latched onto the side of her neck, she did not resist at all. She didn’t even utter a word. To make matters worse on me, when all was said and done, she had forgiven me. I had scarred her small, beautiful, innocent body, and she had forgiven me. Even more so, she then asked if we could be friends.
I had since accepted her friendship, and we had grown close. I do not know what she felt in me, but I felt that she had great potential and power. This is where our story picked up.
As I was walking, I stopped. I heard something. After all, my ears were huge, so I could hear things from far away. I heard little miss Li Chan coming towards me.
“Hi Tera,” she said to me,
Hello Sanaki,” I muttered back, sounding depressed,
“What’s the matter?” she asked me,
“It’s the same as usual,” I complained, “I hate my life.”
“Most people would mock you, Tera,” said Sanaki, “But not me. I respect that.” And then Sanaki hugged me. My eyes widened, and I was glad she was blind. I felt so bad, especially with what I was about to tell her.”
“Sanaki,” I said, “I’m still dangerous.” I proceeded to tell her about my inexplicable bloodlust.
“Tera,” said Sanaki, “if it will keep you calm, I’ll let you have me right now. I don’t want to make you suffer or enhance the lusting.”
I stopped. She was offering herself up to me freely. This could be my chance to relentlessly drink as much of her blood as I pleased. I flipped my finger and a claw formed. I slowly ran it down the scar on her neck. My claw was sharp enough that it was cutting her wound open again. A fine line of blood began seeping out of it. I looked at her face. Sanaki had simply closed her eyes and was waiting for the worst. I noticed that tears were forming in her eyes. I stopped, and the claw on my hand disappeared. What was I doing? Was this how I was supposed to repay the girl who had done so much good to me and had never hurt me? I could not continue. However, I could feel that my sense of bloodlust was returning, as it periodically did.
“Sanaki,” I said, “run. Quickly;”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Sanaki declared, “You need to end this now. I’ll fight you if I have to.”
This had set me off. The more I looked at her bleeding neck, the more I lusted for her sweet tasting blood and the flesh around her neck. I needed motivational material.
“Sanaki,” I boomed, “I’m gonna rip your scrawny little frame to pieces here and now!!”
Now normally, if I had said this, I would be kidding, but I was no longer in control of myself; I was bent on killing her and ripping her to shreds. She got the hint and took off. I could tell that she was genuinely afraid. I grinned menacingly and took off after her.
She was absurdly fast, and catching up to Sanaki took a while. After all, I liked my prey on the run. I caught up to her, and noticed that she was weakening. Sanaki had a slight breathing problem, and it was now kicking in. I used this as my chance. I dove through the air and caught Sanaki mid-jump, slamming her to the ground. She screamed frantically, and I laughed.
I had a memory of my face during this incident. At the particular moment though I didn’t care, but after seeing myself, I was so ashamed and sorrowful. The look on my face was a crazed one of mad bloodlust and arrogant triumph.
After I slammed Sanaki to the ground I picked her up and slammed her on her back. After all she had landed face down originally. I pinned her down, but was in for a surprise. She was fighting back with swift moves. I needed to stop her from firebending, but I had no way of doing so. There was only 1 way: I clasped both my hands onto her neck and began choking her.
“Tera,” she said weakly with what would soon be her last breath, “Tera, I’m sorry. It’s... me...”
I watched as she struggled against me. She was turning purple, and soon, blue. Her struggling became slower and slower. She was dying.
And then something happened that I did not expect.
Sanaki threw her hand at me and it stroked my ear. I recalled the soft, angelic touch. This was Sanaki. What was I doing trying to kill her? All of a sudden I regained control of myself. I immediately threw myself off of her. I heard her gasping loudly for breath. I remembered that for at least an hour after the event, Sanaki was breathing very heavily. Right now, she was still trying to recover.
“Tera,” she said, before I could apologize, “Tera, I’m so sorry!”
I had this repulsed look on my face. I was so mad at myself now. I had just tried to kill her, and she was so quick to sympathize with me that I hadn’t even apologized yet.
“You told me to run,” she said, “you’ve warned me of it before. I was so stupid for trying to oppose you.”
“No!” I shouted, “Sanaki, this is entirely my fault. It’s my fault that I just tried to choke you to death. It’s my fault that I cut your scar open. It’s my fault that I slammed you to the ground with the intent of killing you!”
Sanaki said nothing.
“Tera,” she said, “What are we going to do with your habit?”
“I’m going to stay away from you at all costs when I feel it coming.” I replied, “You are going to do the same. Otherwise, I might end up killing you. We are both lucky that I did not.”
“Okay,” said Sanaki quietly. She was still breathing heavily. “Tera, despite that, I know that you had no choice on the matter. I forgive you again. Just… can you please try harder?”
“Sanaki,” I said, my guilt kicking me in the chest harder than ever, “I am going to do everything in my power to make sure this does not happen again. I’ll work myself nonstop for a month if that’s what it takes. I... I just... I don’t want to hurt you...
I stopped, and embraced her. I felt water forming in my eyes. This was unbelievable. I couldn’t be crying. It had been hundreds of years since I had actually started crying. No, this... this... this just could not happen...
And yet it was. And Sanaki had joined in, most likely in sympathy for me.
“Sanaki,” I said, “don’t ever let me get close to you again if you notice something different about me. I know you can detect heat patterns. Mine get very erratic when I go into that phase. Just...”
“I will,” Sanaki replied, “thanks for being here, Tera. Thanks for having the control to spare me.”
I was speechless. Again, I just wept.
Tera:...
~Katara~
