my first fanfic: katara's concern

[xxtophfanxx]

i think it keeps the story going. it's getting good. the only thing i would tell you to work on is getting it up faster.

[tenoko]

It's a great story! The dialogue seems perfect, but I can't wait to read your fight scenes!

[nicole0deon]

thanks ;D and yeah i know im slow. i get distracted easily

[Kelly]

good

[nicole0deon]

just a little warning, i have never written a fight scene before. especially not with bending. so beware!!lmao

idr what part it is. haha. 5?

as the fighting started, the gang and azula's group broke up into pairs, as if practicing fighting on one another. too bad this wasnt only practice. the moves were fierce and the intention was to wound or kill.
immediately, azula moved towards katara. wanting to regain aangs trust, katara started fighting azula right back. aang was fighting ty lee, while mai was dueling both toph and sokka.
they all seemed to be evenly matched.
if only zuko were there then maybe the gang would get the upper hand, sokka thought. zuko was thinking the same thing. as he heard the fight commencing, he began his uphill battle against the knives again. he managed to get one loose. five more to go.
back at the fight, azula and her team seemed to be getting the upper hand in the battle. katara was getting weary and worried about aang and toph. she didnt want aang to get hurt. what a fool she was for bringing him into this mess.
toph was still injured, but of course she didn't show it. sokka was trying to make sure she was okay, but he ended up just distracting her. mai was able to hit toph with a blade, right in the arm. toph started shaking and let out a terrible scream, but of anger, not pain. she shoved sokka away (out of the way of fight of course). she grabbed the knife and metal bent it out of her arm. mai looked scared now. using the metal as a shield to block the knives, toph used her good arm to go into an eartbending frenzy. she was about to go in for the final blow, when a scream reached her ears. katara.
katara had been fighting azula in the most agressive fight of her life. their moves were so graceful, they looked more like they were dancing rather than fighting. when toph screamed, katara chanced a glance at toph. she saw toph was alright and turned to face her opponent. she didnt see azula though, just a wave of fire coming at her. it hit her with such force she fell to the ground, emitting a scream of pain.
the whole group, including zuko reacted the same. they hesitated for a moment and went back to their battles, except for aang. he manage to hit ty lee with a boulder that gave him a moment to think. he rushed towards katara, looking sad and anguished. he thought she was dead. azula didnt look so sure, and was moving in for the kill. right before she was about to kill katara, aang let out a yell, the yell of a desperate boy, a boy wanting to save the girl he loves.
"NO!! NOT KATARA! PLEASE AZULA! KILL ME INSTEAD! JUST NOT KATARA!" he cried, a single tear rolling down his face.


i'm leaving it at that for now. is that fight scene terrible? opinions please. and whatever your expecting, dont be too sure. mwahahahahaha lmao just kidding about the expecting part. or am i?

does it seem rushed? idk. i dont have much experience in this.

[Dogg450]

So when is the next part??

[nicole0deon]

probably today. what do you think about my fight scene?

[Dogg450]

It was good I give A 10!!

[nicole0deon]

thank you! heres the next part!


its the final countdownnnn!! lol jk. i'm not sure where i want to end it yet. but here is part 6

katara came about just as aang started screaming. she saw ty lee rushing towards mai, azula smirking, toph and sokka beside her, mai unconscious on the ground. she wasnt quite alert enough to register what was happening until it was over.
"gladly," was all azula said, a huge smirk on her face.
aang looked as if he was bracing himself for the pain. he glanced at katara. her eyes were open. a look of shock and happiness was on his face, which turned to confusion. katara's eyes were wide in fear, looking at something behind him. he turned around in time to see azula's bolt of lightning coming towards his chest.
"NO!! AANG!! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!" katara screamed, fully realizing what was going on now. the newly freed zuko heard this, and ran as fast as he could towards aang. as soon as he rounded the corner, he knew he was too late.
he saw a few things when he rounded the corner. sokka and toph huddled around the burnt and sobbing katara. he saw ty lee trying to help mai up from the ground. he started running faster when he saw azula's lightning collide with aangs chest.
it was like a freezeframe in a movie. aang was lifted off the ground, and it seemed like he was suspended in midair for an hour.
finally, the lightning, like an electric rope connecting aang to azula broke. aang's lifeless body crumpled to the ground.
at that precise moment, in what feels like another world, a baby girl was born in the frozen tundra of the southern water tribe; she is the next avatar.
"NOOO!!" katara screamed sitting up in bed. she was in a cold sweat, tears streaming down her face. she opened her eyes, and saw everything. she lifted her arms- no burns. felt her head- no blood or pain. she was fine. aang! she thought. she looked around frantically, her eyes finally resting on his sleeping body. she saw sokka, sound asleep.
"it was just a dream, just a dream.." she repeated to herself.
"what was just a dream?" someone said.
katara jumped. "oh toph! its just you. why are you up?" she said, glad toph couldnt see her shaking body.
"oh gee sugarqueen. i'm just up cuzz i fancied a look at the stars. no. i was rudely woken up by someone's screaming and sobbing. any idea who that could be?" toph said, sarcasm turned on high.
"i'm sorry toph. it was just a nightmare."
"you had a nightmare?" aang said.
katara, still jumpy, flinched. "aang! you scared me. when did you get up?" she said, trying not to let off how shaken she was.
"as interesting as this seems, i'm gonna go back to sleep now," toph mumbled, yawning wide.
"so you had a nightmare katara?" aang said, ignoring toph, eyes only for katara.
"yes... and i think we should leave the western air temple," she said.


mwahahah i bet you were all shocked. i told you not to expect what you were expecting. i might go on with this, not sure yet. opinions anyone?

[Dogg450]

Yepp. Keep going:)

[nicole0deon]

hmmmm... i'll try. cant make any promises though. haha. maybe i will. i'm just waiting for inspiration. i might just end this here and make a new one. but i guess we'll see eventually.

[Dogg450]

Even if you did make a new one it would be good I like the way you write your stories!!
And I'm not just saying that.