Ilovethisshow
Avatar State Master
If you have problems with failing things, don't try to understand me.
Posts: 4,771
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Post by Ilovethisshow on May 19, 2008 13:43:21 GMT 1
Yeah, I Know, and thanks I'm just half blonde.
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on May 19, 2008 13:56:28 GMT 1
lol. so, should we be expecting more of this story anytime soon? ~Sokka~
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Ilovethisshow
Avatar State Master
If you have problems with failing things, don't try to understand me.
Posts: 4,771
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Post by Ilovethisshow on May 19, 2008 14:00:15 GMT 1
Don't bug me about it. Bug Superbender. But don't really, it's locked inside his computer.
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on May 19, 2008 14:07:03 GMT 1
how is your story dependent on him? ~Toph~
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らuやにr
Master Avatar
Alive!
Posts: 3,655
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Post by らuやにr on May 19, 2008 16:34:05 GMT 1
Well.......
Umm, ...... Brb when I've fixed it. My dad is going to take a look on the Computer.
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on May 19, 2008 19:21:17 GMT 1
that doesn't answer the question. how is her story connected to you? shouldn't she write her own story? ~Tera~
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Ilovethisshow
Avatar State Master
If you have problems with failing things, don't try to understand me.
Posts: 4,771
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Post by Ilovethisshow on May 19, 2008 23:14:16 GMT 1
Well, this way has worked fine in the past, I don't think we should change it.
And even if I had mine written out, I'd have to wait for him to say to go ahead.
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on May 21, 2008 0:44:23 GMT 1
that's... *shakes head* Tera: *pushes me away* that's actually really stupid--sorry to be blunt... you shouldn't have to rely on another member to put out your own story... ~Toph~
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Ilovethisshow
Avatar State Master
If you have problems with failing things, don't try to understand me.
Posts: 4,771
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Post by Ilovethisshow on May 21, 2008 0:48:06 GMT 1
I know, look, let's not argue, it's really not worth argueing. now Ozana, may something else, but, I'd rather not fight.
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on May 21, 2008 0:50:48 GMT 1
well, here's some constructive criticism, so please don't take this the wrong way... I liked the story better before superbender's chars came in... it was easier to understand. just a little piece of advice. (if I was trying to be rude, this post would have a ~Toph~ or a ~Katara~ signoff) ~Iroh~
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Ilovethisshow
Avatar State Master
If you have problems with failing things, don't try to understand me.
Posts: 4,771
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Post by Ilovethisshow on May 21, 2008 2:53:34 GMT 1
Gotcha. I'll try to clear some stuff up. I'm always open for critz so thx.
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on May 21, 2008 20:41:58 GMT 1
no problem. again, sorry if it sounded rude. ~Iroh~
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Ilovethisshow
Avatar State Master
If you have problems with failing things, don't try to understand me.
Posts: 4,771
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Post by Ilovethisshow on May 21, 2008 23:34:13 GMT 1
It's very seldom criticism doesn't sound rude. so yeah, it's fine, thx, I'm always looking for improvements.
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Ilovethisshow
Avatar State Master
If you have problems with failing things, don't try to understand me.
Posts: 4,771
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Post by Ilovethisshow on May 26, 2008 7:40:39 GMT 1
And I guess bribary works afterall.
Ozana: okay here(Tera253)lol
-my mother-
She took a step into the colossal city like it was hers. It was in fact hers. She had taken the whole thing down within a month not even 17 years ago. She looked up and saw a Dai li. A smile came to her lips and she called him over. “Have you seen the princess?” She asked. “Yes Ma’am” the Soldier said. “When?” she asked slightly on edge. He immediately caught her voice and changed it to a pleasant one. She soldier sounded just a slight bit scared, if not for his life, at least for his job. “She was taken by The Head or the Dai Li Teroh--” That’s as far as he got. “WHEN” She yelled, now even angrier. That incompetent boy had survived? She thought in Vehemence. “Y-yesterday” he answered jittery. She settled down and put a smile on her face “Thank you, and which way did they go?” She asked. He told her where they had gone into the forest, then that they had flown up on a dragon. She smiled an evil looking smile. “Get me the second in command” She had heard of the cannibal lady, and knew that she did not spare people. He had probably run like the coward he and his father are, she decided. No, the lady could control people, he hadn’t run, he had gained her trust and she had joined the group. This was what she decided, and a plan formed in her mind. She smiled at the thought.
-me-
I woke who knows how long later. I stood up, and smelt a horrible smell. Ugh, I stunk. I needed a decent bath. I made a door in the wall. Everyone was talking and laughing until I walked up. “Hi” I said, kind of pathetically. Everyone was there accept for Teroh. No one answered, though the odd cannibal lady licked her lips. Freaky. “I’m gonna go take a bath” I said my head lingering on Kojiro’s face for an instant before I started heading for the lake. I stepped up to the beautiful scenery. The water was As blue as the sky on a clear winter day, the sun’s rays glinting off of it like the helpful spark of the oh so hated fires that helped create and destroy life almost at the same time. I took in a deep breath and smelt the wonderful smell of lilac and lilies mixed together. The thoughts of bathing slipped my mind as I sat in the cool wet dirt just off the riverbank, enjoying the feeling of peace and serenity. I looked around once more, the sun was on the afternoon part of the sky. It was almost Dusk. I loved the time of dusk. It made me feel as if nothing could be wrong in the world. Almost as if I had no worries. Like my family was just a regular one. My father and mother loved one another, and me. I wasn’t the fire-princess or the avatar in fact I had never heard the terms before. A smile played my lips. It was the biggest one in a while. I made a fire figure of me. I moved it into a younger version of myself in one of my most cherished memories. I twisted it until it resembled Anzon. It was ironic, the very thing that took him from me seemed to almost bring him back. I made another one of myself, this one staying like that. I played the scene over in my head, the two figures standing almost as if posing for a picture.
-Flash Back-
‘May I cut in?’ Anzon asked after I had sent him a ‘help me’ look and he had laughed at me in one of the many parties I had snuck him into. This one was extremely elegant and had special meaning in which had not been relayed to me. There were many important people there, including his brother J who had actually been invited opposed to his brother. I had been dancing with one of the most talkative people on the face of the planet. He had not stopped since we started dancing. I happily traded him for Anzon. Anzon had done this before, when I had been stuck with someone who was annoying or just not really pleasant he would step in and then leave, letting me either follow him or find someone else to dance with. When he actually grabbed my hands and started dancing with me I was shocked and very happy that I had tons of makeup on so he couldn’t see me blush. “What are you doing?” I whispered. “I’m dancing with the fairest girl in the whole Firenation” He told me mater-of-factly. “Are you flirting with me?” I asked absolutely shocked. This was before we were dating, while we were best friends, and my mother was somewhat okay with me hanging around him, because she hadn’t found out he couldn’t firebend and he was from the Water Colonies. Of course, those two usually go together. “Who says I am?” He asked smugly. “I do, and I say stop it, it’s weird” I was really sure he could see my whole face get red and feel my heart spazing out in my chest. She smiled and spun me off his hand, “To awkward to dance with a good friend?” He asked. I led him off the dance floor as I saw another young noble heading towards me. “You hate dancing.” I told him, “you told me the very first time I offered you to come to a party.” His smile widened. “So I can’t change my mind?”
-end-
I felt a tap on my shoulder and awoke from my daydream. I looked over at who it was. Teroh. “What?” I asked Rudely. He had woken me from one of the few memories that didn’t end on a bad note. “Who is that?” He asked sitting down next to me and pointing at the fire figure of Anzon. “None of your business” I said angrily and made both figure disappear. I turned my head so he wouldn’t see the tears forming in my eyes. I pretended to be immensely fascinated in the water. Actually, I was Really fascinated of the water. “Go away” I finally said. I wiped the tears out of my eyes and turned expecting him gone. He wasn’t. “Your really annoying sometimes.” I said, standing up. “And besides, what were you doing watching me? I was about to take a bath.” I turned to see his answer. He smiled as if what I had said was funny. “You didn’t look like it to me.” “Why do you chose to be annoying?” I asked him. He looked at me like I was crazy. I returned the gaze with a look of anger. He cowered away. That’ll teach him. “And now, if you would leave I’d like to-” I was cut off by someone jabbing me in the back. I fell backwards into the water. I was going to have to remember that fire isn’t the only thing that kills. Ty lee smiled her stupid smile as my mother picked me up out of the water. “Hey mom.” I said almost happily. Wait. why would I be happy? She just immobilized me and picked me up by my hair. And oh how it hurt. “Shut up Avatar” She said. She looked over at Teroh. “We had a deal” She said. He said something back. “A deal?” I asked, despite the pain in my head. She dropped me back into the water almost face down. I was releived, but then had to concentrate on breathing only air. What deal could Teroh have possibly made with her? Oh right, he tried to kill me. Is she going to kill him now? Water splashed my face and I saw him down in the water too. Uh-Oh, this was not good. She gagged us both and took us into a metal cage with Ty Lee, giving her the order of, ‘if either of those two idiot start to move, immobilize them again’. Ty Lee smiled and agreed. I blew some hair out of my face and was struck in the back by Ty Lee. I was flipped onto my stomach. I could no longer see what anyone was saying. This would not be a very good trip.
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on May 26, 2008 7:48:33 GMT 1
hehehe... Teroh's annoying... lol but dang, that's gotta suck. first she's reminiscing with a happy memory, then Teroh screws it up, and then get get's totally gypped and gets captured. that's got "suckiness" written all over it (the events, not the chapter)
AWESOME chapter. ~Toph~
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