Orophin
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Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Dec 16, 2008 23:16:00 GMT 1
Well, there're three main plot points in this one...
And one of them is that one that extends beyond a singular chapter.
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Teяa253
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Post by Teяa253 on Dec 17, 2008 0:30:24 GMT 1
the point being.....? ~Sokka~
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Orophin
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Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Dec 21, 2008 20:33:37 GMT 1
That was the point. There being three main plot points...
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Teяa253
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Post by Teяa253 on Dec 22, 2008 7:39:58 GMT 1
I see...
well, they'll do no good if it takes long enough that I forget the rest of the story except for the most major events... lol
~Zuko~
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Orophin
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Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Dec 23, 2008 2:55:03 GMT 1
Don't worry, two are chapter-based, and the other is based on a very major previous event.
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Teяa253
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Post by Teяa253 on Dec 23, 2008 9:23:46 GMT 1
hmm... ~Azula~
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Orophin
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Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
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Post by Orophin on Jan 12, 2009 7:13:39 GMT 1
So it'll be fine.
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grangran
Airbender
"There is no shipping war in Ba Sing Se!" ~Long Feng~
Posts: 83
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Post by grangran on Mar 25, 2009 18:10:41 GMT 1
The Hunt of the Sorrowful.Honestly, what do you think? I think that the "teen character who gets his/her parents killed" thing is a bit cliche, but all in all, I liked this one. The only thing that I thought could have used improvement was the fight scene. You should try connecting sentences more often--not to make run-ons, but I guess "add length" would be the term I'm looking for. They all seems pretty short. Nevertheless it was a pretty descriptive fight scene. Then again, looking at it, maybe it's just the spacing. Mayybe this is just a trait that I do, but usually when I read and see a gap between paragraphs, I usually give it a split-second pause. So I guess what I'm suggesting this time is to have the layout be more paragraph-like instead of divided at each sentence. Of course, if a paragraph is absolutely enormous, then maybe not. I'm not sure. Either way, pretty good. I'd give it about a 7.15/10.
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Orophin
No life Poster
Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Mar 26, 2009 11:34:59 GMT 1
i think i was just sick and tired of seeing stories that did this and despite having really good stories (sometimes) it was near impossible to read because it all ran together like this and never seemed to pause despite the obvious need for one that and the fact that i wrote this in notepad is pretty much why the formatting is the way it is
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grangran
Airbender
"There is no shipping war in Ba Sing Se!" ~Long Feng~
Posts: 83
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Post by grangran on Mar 26, 2009 16:16:36 GMT 1
WellThenIThinkYouTookItTooSeriously. Sort of like an "opposite effect" thing. while a story that is all jammed together is harder to enjoy than one with proper spacing, the opposite is also true to an extent. If there's too much spacing, it seems like it goes slower. But hey, don't get offended over some constructive criticism. The nice way of describing people who do that is the word "loser". And if you had actually read my post, you would have noticed that I said "don't make run-ons", so your attempt to prove a point flopped then and there. So basically, I was just suggesting the opposite. Instead of having to pause every sentence, you could have put a few together to make something called a paragraph. Paragraphs are useful. Because they make writing seem more flowing. But yes, spacing, instead of just having a huge block of text, is also important. So basically, there is some sort of happy medium between no spacing and too much spacing that needs to be found by anyone who posts any written material. Regardless, that's just my two bits.
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Orophin
No life Poster
Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Mar 27, 2009 11:22:12 GMT 1
I wasn't aware I was actually doing it every sentance... When there was dialog going on, it was deliberate that there be a lot of spacing.
But, then again, this was the first one...
Anyway, I wasn't actually trying to prove a point by doing that. It was just the easiest way to show you what type of story I was talking about.
But yeah, if I was doing this inb Word, I could probably do paragraphs more easily, and have it formatted a lot better. But, all I've got is notepad.
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grangran
Airbender
"There is no shipping war in Ba Sing Se!" ~Long Feng~
Posts: 83
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Post by grangran on Mar 27, 2009 16:06:21 GMT 1
most computers also have wordpad, and I think that one has margins.
notepad is the program that computer nerds like me use when we want to alter programs and mod games to our advantage.
after all, it's pretty gratifying to run through a game using hacks instead of the old cheat codes.
but yeah, you kind of were doing it every sentence.
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Orophin
No life Poster
Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Mar 28, 2009 10:37:46 GMT 1
Oh well. At least you know where one sentance began and the other ended.
Hmm, maybe it was deliberate... I can't remember writing it, really.
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grangran
Airbender
"There is no shipping war in Ba Sing Se!" ~Long Feng~
Posts: 83
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Post by grangran on Mar 28, 2009 16:59:12 GMT 1
But I guess when it all boils down, I guess I should probably make sure my writing skills are in check as well...
Though doing it here would be pointless, as I'm 95% sure that no one would read it. This place is way too dead.
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Orophin
No life Poster
Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Mar 29, 2009 14:06:58 GMT 1
Well, no one has a real reason to be posting here. A site can't maintain itself by community alone. You know why? Because in the end, people will get bored of the over people, and even if the site gets 100,000+ posts a day, they're all boring. There has to be a subject. Something needs to be happening. There needs to be a contention, a debate, a poll, or something for the people to talk about.
That's why any site based off of a TV show is going to die. It may take time, or it may happen all at once, but whether by a slow death or a sudden stop, all show based sites will die. It's part of the risk taken by being a show based site.
And once the community remembers that they have other interests, and that there are other ways to keep in touch and talk about things that don't relate to the show, they have no reason to stay.
Avatar is a dying franchise. Soon, it will be dead. The movie will come and go, and the fams will fade away into obscurity. Star Wars sites maintain only by there being so much EU material out there, now that the movies have run dry of all possible sources of conversation. Harry Potter sites are still maintaining, but they too will soon stop working, as the very last scrapes of conversation are pulled from the metaphorical jar. Any site based on something that will end has to accept that it too will one day end.
So yes, this site is dying. And, may I add, it's death is being helped along by the fact that it has a community. I'd explain, but considering that I have reason not to, I wont.
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