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Post by justinrob on Apr 6, 2008 16:54:21 GMT 1
Lei had his stuff ready.He got his pouches ready and got his weapons.He started going down the hill and when Ba sing Se was in sight he gazed out at the grand city that fallen.His parents died when he was 14.Now his 16.Finally,He left.
Hours later...........
Lei found a village.He got to a abandon cabin.It was in great shape like it was cleaned and had maintance.He entered.Finally,he threw his bags on a chair.He went out.decided to get some training done in the woods.
2 Hours Later...................
He was sweating.he took a shower.He finally left again and went to a couple of stalls to get some breakfest.He said,'Just get me some fruit and meat.'The guy did what he was told.He handed him the gold peices he needed to buy his food.He went home.Finally he jumped in bed.It was late.He blew away the fire that lit up the candle.He went to sleep.He knew his REAL journy has begun.He knew he had to let go of his past,and think of the present.
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Orophin
No life Poster
Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Apr 6, 2008 16:59:31 GMT 1
Nice begining to a story, maybe a little short, but writing long ones is hard sometimes...
So, now I just need to wait for... Chapter Two!
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Orophin
No life Poster
Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Apr 6, 2008 17:02:33 GMT 1
Cool.
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on Apr 6, 2008 19:08:46 GMT 1
it's short, but pretty good. now you just need to post chapter 2 like you showed me.
you're portraying Sanaki pretty well so far there... ~Sanaki~
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Orophin
No life Poster
Crikey! Dragon of the South, mate.
Posts: 44,407
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Post by Orophin on Apr 7, 2008 0:46:34 GMT 1
Ooh, Sanaki, better go see!
*Runs off faster than a speeding fireball thrown by Sankai*
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Teяa253
No life Poster
I am amazing. I know.
Posts: 70,114
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Post by Teяa253 on Apr 13, 2008 10:53:36 GMT 1
Sanaki: if you've seen nothing once, you've seen it a thousand times... ~Sanaki~
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