my very first fanfic

[xxtophfanxx]

i'll probably post the next part later on today. i realy need to theink about whats going to happen.
will they make it or not? Questions, questions.

[kataangaxk]

I love the story. Its so... Great. love how you use first person instead of third person. *Karma*

[xxtophfanxx]

thanks, i love writing in first person it makes the story so much more personal. this one is a tricky one though. i have to make sure i don't put anything about seeing when i'm writing Toph.

[xxtophfanxx]

THere you go i just updated it.

[xxtophfanxx]

Here's the new part:




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I looked over at that Toph Girl. She had puzzled me ever since I had joined the group. She was obviously blind, yet a vary strong bender, how could you have both things at once?

Appa took a lurch forward. So Aang landed him. Aperantly he hadn’t gotten enough sleep because of all the ruffling around last night. Every 5 minutes Aang was asking Katara if she needed anything……at least until that Toph girl had proceded to yell at him making Aang quiet down.

We set up camp. I watched her as she didn’t help unpack anything or anyone. No one expected her to, yet Katara, frail as she is in her current state did practacly everything.

“Come on prince.” toph said the last word sarcastically, as she dragged me toward the center of the camp, “we’re having a meeting and you are for the first time in your life, invited.”

“my name’s Zuko” I said.

“To late,” she said a little irritated, “everyone has a nickname and yours is prince.” she smilled a little as she sarcastically said prince.

I sat down to a cold stare from Katara.

“I everyone here, toph?” she asked looking at the blind earth bender.

“everyone we brought, sugar queen” She said. Katara glared at her.

“Right, well Sokka and Aang had a dream last night and I had a revelation.” she started stairing around everyone. The avatar was staring blankly at her. I wonder if she even noticed.

Toph stomped her foot as the rock that Aang was sitting on rose up an inch.

“……We are going to have a Blue moon tomorrow night” Katara stated. “ When a blue moon occurs Water benders are strengthened. Now I know this is only two people in the group, But we need all of the help we can get. So we are going to make our way to the palace tomorrow and crush the fire lord.”

Everyone stared at her taking in what she just said.

“so everyone rest up, we have long day tomorrow.” she concluded. sokka stayed with the new girl we had just rescued, and katara went to talk with aang, I followed Toph, I wanted to ask her how she could be blind and powerful at the same time.

She stopped and thrusted her hands down. I fell into a sinkhole.

“what do you want?” she asked, turning around. “this isn’t about your name is it, because” she said smiling “it’s not going to change very soon.” she looked almost regular, it was just her milky green blue eyes.

“I…………um just..um wanted to--” she cut me off.

“ask if I was blind, yeah thank’s for noticing smarty.” she said sarcastically. Was that my new nickname? Or did she just have many nicknames for everyone.

“well yes, and how you know your way around like you do.” I said getting more and more scared as I talked.

She smilled a little. Could she tell I was scared?

“good Question” she said, she let me out of the earth, what was she going to do now? She put her hand on my back and we walked toward where suki and sokka were. What was she doing?

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I’ll use this guy to make soka jealous then he’ll want me instead of suki.

“well Zuko,” I said emphasizing his name. soka looked over at us, “I use my earth bending to since vibrations in the ground so I could see anything I want for a prêtty far radiouse. Not to mention my keen hearing since I’m blind that comes naturaly though.” I finished. Everyone was looking at me. I finished off with a big smile that I hoped passed off for happy.

He was scared how cute.

“toph I think you and I need to have a talk.” sugar Queen said to me. Prince just sort of scooted away. She walked toward me and held out a hand. I refused it getting up on my own. My feet didn’t hurt to much anymore.

“Toph, I realize you are probably having some confused feelings right now.” she started.

“No way,” I said, she’s not craking me that easily.

“Toph it’s not hard to…..” she paused for a moment trying to find a word to substitute see, “understand that you have a crush on sokka” she finished. Wow she sure was being blunt today.

“no,” I said. Holding my feelings back today was getting hard.

she ignored my last statement and said, “I know it must feel awkward to ss--I meant feel sokka and his girlfriend, kiss.” she looked over at me. I lat myself go for one moment and a single tear came out of my eye. “and I’m very proud of you for choosing, sokka’s happieness over yours. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Tears fell from my eyes.

“How shoud you know?” I asked. “the only one you’ve ever had a crush on had one on you first. You’ve never fekt rejection.” I said crying.

“your right I never have felt rejection.” the countered patiently, “but I do know how it feels for someone to be taken away from you.” she let out a long sigh. She wanted to say something else I could tell, but she never said it.

“thank you Katara.” I said turning around. I decided to go somewhere peaceful and think.

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That was awkward.

“Katara!” I heard from back at the camp site.

“what I yelled getting there out of breath. “suki hasn’t awoken yet, I’m woried” soka said back. I bent some water out of a bowl. I ran my hands over her body. She’s gone. What am I gonna tell sokka?

“She’s gone.” I said, a tear escaping from my eyes. Sokka went blank.

“Just last night we…..” he got up from where suki’s body was laying, and went into the forest. Did toph have something to do with this. She was feeling jelouse, but could she really kill someone?

“Toph!” I yelled loudly. She should be able to hear me. She was their in a couple minutes.

“What sugar Queen?” she asked. Standing only 5 feet from me.

“did you kill suki?” I whispered so no one else could hear.

“What?!” she yelled loudly.

“Toph tell the truth.” I said hoping she would.

“no,” toph said. “I can’t believe you would…..suki’s dead? She asked confused. I did feel a little change in heart beat but I didn’t think. Oh poor Soka” she said. She didn’t kill her. Suki had just…..died. Toph took off running in the direction soka had gone. Oh no.

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“Sokka,” I said as I got closer to him. He was sitting on a log.

“what toph?” he asked, sounding as if he was defeated.

“I’m sorry about suki” I said.

“it’s okay, I’m used to it by now.” he said.

“Sokka, I know your lying,” I said back.

“well what else do you expect me to do?”

“Hit something, scream, but don’t act like it‘s alright! When the world is unfair don‘t mope like right now curse it out, get sarcastic, don‘t let it walk all over you though!” I yelled banging into the ground.
A tear escaped from his eyes.

“you don’t understand” he yelled.

“I don’t understand about the world being unfair!” I yelled “I’m blind,” I said stretching my bottom eyelid down.

“no you don’t understand about loss.” he yelled.

I was quiet for a moment. Then I walked over to where he sat.

“I understand rejection though.” I said almost at a whisper. “I understand what it’s like to be judged and excluded. I understand pain.” I finished quietly. He turned to me. And sighed.

“But you just don’t understand my pain.” he said sitting there.

“How can I” I asked. “I want to share your burden.” I finished. “I want to make it better.” he turned to me and stared into my eyes.

“you already have,” he said pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged him as he sat there crying in my arms. His turn to feel weak and like the world is against him, and my turn to comfort him. Katara and Aang where approaching. I kicked my foot out and a barier cam up in from of them. Hopefully they got the message.

We sat there like that for a long time. No disturbances, until I said, “It’s time to say goodbye.” we got up and started to walk for camp.

I dug a grave and we all said good-bye as aang air bended her gently into the hole. I mounded the dirt back on her, and we put the tombstone that sokka had painfully carved. I didn’t know what it said, but I knew it was respectful. We all went to sleep sorrowfuly, except for Sokka he stayed out half the night pacing. thinking

Alright guys. this is where i will end my fic. Watch the show to see what really happens, imagen what would happen in this verion, or even forget you read it.




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todays the day. i'm fighting the firelord today.

i jumped onto appa. the others were already on him. waiting. if only they knew the burdon thrust upon me. if only they coul understand the pain. i don't want this life.

"Aang are you ok?" katara asked me. puting a hand on my shoulder.

"no" i said to her. "i'm so worried, what if he knows we're comming? what if he hides again.....or worse, what if i fail?"

"everything is going to be fine aang." she said, a reasuring smile on her face.

"yeah twinkle toes lighten up" zuko said.

"hey," toph yelled at zuko, "that is my name for him and mine only" she said punching zuko on the arm.

"well jeeze i thought it was his official nick name, not the TOPH FAN CLUB nick name."

sokka snickered.

"you'd better watch it" toph said. "i'm annoyed with you enough,"

"what are you going to do to me? we're in the air." He asked.

"break it up guys" i said. apperently katara isn't going to step in.

they both just crossed their arms and went quiet. not much else you coud do though.
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i can't beleive he would use my name. i'm not surprised. he is a little weird. but still, i wish he would fight some more. these rides are so boring.

no one spoke for three hours, until sokka came in with his

"are we there yet?"

"no" Aang answered shortly. great.

"are we there yet,?" sokka said 5 minutes later.

"no" Aang answered again, not even a little annoyed. i sure am getting annoyed.

"are we there yet, now?" sokka said not even a minute later.

"no." Aang said once again. i swear if he says that one more time i'll--

"are we--"

"NO" i yelled "quit asking." that should keep him quiet.

more silence.

great now i'm bored again. wait there's one solution.

"are we there yet?" i asked, this should be funny.

"toph didn't you just yell at sokka for saying that?" Katara asked me

oh katara you have no idea

"no it was all in your head sugar queen." i replied. come back from sokka now.

"what? you did just yell at me i know it." sokka said. i knew this was a good idea.

"wow you tw must have snoozed off and hadd the same dream because i certainly have said nothing for the past couple hours." i said back.

"No, this fight did happen." zuko stated. oh joy now i get to mess with all of them.

"nope, havn't said a thing for a while your all just daydreaming or something." i said back.

"guys, stop fighting, there will be enough of that to come." aang said. kill-joy.

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i made my way over to aang. he wasn't taking this to well. i sat dwn with him on appa's head. not that easy to do with the one seat armor.

"are you alright Aang?" smooth katara smooth, he's about to go fight the firelord, of course he's not alright.

"no," he responded.

"Aang your not going to fail," i said reasuringly. thugh not quite convinced myself.

"i know." he said back. you know? then what are you so worried about?

"oh," i said back, "then what are you worried about?" i asked.

he took in a deap breath. "i worried about losing," he said back. isn't that the same as failing?

"your not going to lose against the firelord. you've pretty much mastered all of the elements. he's only got fire for him, your going to win." i said.

"i'm not worried about failing the world of losing to the fire lord." he said back.

"then what are you worried about?" i asked.

"i'm worried about you," he yelled. everyone's head turned.

"Aang i'll-"

"no katara! what if something happens again? what if your captured or, or-" i cut him off with a hug. then he whispered i don't want you taken away from me again."

"Aang, nothing is going to happen where we are sepperated. nothing." i said the only words that came to my mind.

-----------------------------------an hour has passed------------------------------------

"we're here" Aang said.

"finaly" i yelled in releif as appa hit the ground and i jumped off. "no more bordom."

"o.k. we need to go over the plan-" katara started,

i interupted "we all know the plan, sugarqueen." i said.

"o.k. then tell me the plan." she said.

"alright, i will. I am going to cause a distraction, everyone is going to run outside, then Aang and katara are going in to fight the fire lord. Zuko is going to help me fight and sokka is going to di his weird little thing." he scoweled,

"one of these days toph." sokka said. i paused for a moment.

"as i was saying before i was so rudly interupted we are not to come inside until the fire lord has fallen, or you come outside to get our help." there, say somethng to that.

"thank you toph at least i know someone was listening" she was looking at zuko now.

"i was listening." zuko said. "if anyone wasn't listening it was Aang." he said. oh this should be good.

"how dare you accuse Aang, i'm getting sick of you." she said surning around. nice katara, now say something that might actualy hurt.

"guys we need to stop fighting" Aang said. "this is tearing us apart."

"sorry Aang," Katara said.

"yeah" zuko said back

"Thank you" Aang said back. Kill-joy




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"guys it's time to leave." i said.

"it's not even sundown yet sokka" Aang protested.

"we need to get a head start so we can get in then bash him. besides it will be in about an hour." i concluded. let's just get this overwith.

"alright then let's head out" Katara said.

--later--at the palace--

"we're here and we have about 5 minutes. Aang Katara start heading in. we'll wait behind and watch for any guards." i wispered

"Sokka, if there's one thing my father has it's gaurds, we should all go in and wait outside the door instead of outside the palace." Zuko said. why hadn't he said this earlier.

"why didn't you say this before?" i asked.

"i forgot" he said back.

"alright then we will all go inside and Aang and katara will go in. Aang don't froget to make a ditch in the floor so you two can waterbend ground water." i said

"o.k. let's just go" he said gritting hes teeth.

We all went in. silence surounded us. Zuko manuvered us throught the halls. toph warned us when anyone was coming, it was all going perfect. We stopped at the door. Aang kissed Katara, and they went in. i was a little fumed at this, but let it pass off as in any moent someone would come and the battle would begin.

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we stepped in, and the firlord looked taken aback. Aang dig a huge hole in the ground behind us and sent a huge blast of fire at the fire lord. the battle was on. i swept a tidal wave of water up and hit the fire lord right before he shot some fire.

he got up and sent a huge wave of lighning at Aang who dodged it. i made a big water whip with an ice end. he sent lightning at Aang just as i hit him in the heart with the ice. he fell and Aang fell at the same time. he was dead and Aandg was dieing. i rushed over to him.

"Aang" i whispered to him.

"i'm not gonna make it this time Katara." he said.

"YES you will" i said back "i'll heal you again. you're not gonna die on me."

"i've completed my destiny the only thing left is for me to die." he said.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------as Aang and katara stepped into the room------------------------------------------------------------------------

"i have a bad feeling about this." soka said

"no duh braniack" i said back. "here comes someone by the way."

"those stupid waterpeasents won't know what--hello there." azula said sounding a little surprised. she was walking with mai and ti lee

zuko sent a fireball at her i sent a wall at her and sokka sent his boomerang. she dodged them all, and the three split up. ti lee came to me azula went at sokka and mai went at zuko. oh no this won't end well.

[ZIE]

lol its prety good

[kataangaxk]

ayee dont end it there. I love it =D. Your an amazing fanfic writer.

[xxtophfanxx]

Maybe i'll continue it. i just need some time to think and rewatch the episodes to see what i could twist. in a day or two i might have something up there.

[sokka118]

It was okay. I got confused during several parts of it, especially with the constant switching of Toph and Katara. Also, I'd put the names of the people who are talking in front of the sentences. That way we can better keep track of the conversation. But like you said, it was your first and I'm greatly impressed by how long you made it. Must've taken alot of time to keep it going like you did. Considering it's your first try, I'll give it a 3 out of 5 and a "karma" for you. I'll be sure to check out part 2 as well.

[sokka118]

My post from earlier is only about part 1 lol. I somehow managed to miss part 2. Just got done reading it. 5 out of 5. Way to go! Only part i didn't like was Katara blaming toph for Suki's death but the next scene made up for it. This time I could easily keep up with who was talking and never got confused. Great Finish

[tenoko]

Awww! Don't end it! MORE MORE MORE!!!!!!

[xxtophfanxx]

thank you for posting. sorry i havn't gotten back to writing it i have been buisy. more will probably come on monday. i am on vacation this weekend. until next time. and thank you for all of the posts. i'll try to make the fight sceene interesting but i am horrible at narrorating fight scenes. don't be surprised if the main bulk is in toph's pov. LOL

[xxtophfanxx]

there added some on.
enjoy

[tenoko]

Thank You!

*karma*

Your story keeps getting better (I especially like the lack of Mai... keep her away from my Zuky Poo!) I love it

[kataangaxk]

AWESSOOOMMMEEE