Everything is fine right?

[singer321]

I'm thinking about making like a book 2 to my story. (Part 11 I guess was like the season finale lol) Anyway, you can give me suggests on the story that also includes any grammer mistakes, plot, events, theme, description etc. Please don't just say it's bad and if you are you have to explain why lol. Also, if you think it is good, tell me why you think it is so I can continue with that. THANK YOU!!! ;D

[singer321]

Oh yeah and PLEASE post a reply!!!!!!!! ;D

[kataang4eva15]

It just gets better and better!

[kataang4eva15]

It just gets better and better

[singer321]

“AAhhhhhhhh!” Aang yawned. Aang took his hands to his sleepy eyes and rubbed them to wake them up. Aang slowly sat up and stepped out of the bed. He yawned again and got himself dressed. He walked over to the kitchen and grabbed some breakfast. He snatched a bowl of Jook (rice congee). He pulled out one of beach styled chairs and sat down at the long rectangular table. “Aang?” Katara said. Aang jumped in surprise and turned around to see Katara in her new beach styled outfit. It was like her fire nation outfit only; it was fashioned more for a beach climate. “Aang, do you want to come and join us. We’re all out on the beach, so do you want to come?” Katara said. “Uh yeah, sure. Hold on.” Aang said. He finished up his Jook (rice congee) and followed Katara. “Um Aang are you sure you’re okay with going out there with people knowing you’re the avatar?” Katara said. “Yeah…….of course I am..why not?” Aang said. Aang looked tense, he had no real idea on what people thought of him after he defeated Ozai. Aang opened the door and they both walked outside.

“Aang you look…nervous.” Katara said. “Oh I’m fine Katara…..” Aang said reassuringly. They stepped on to the beach sand and strolled over to the water. Everyone was staring at them specifically Aang. Everyone had wide eyes almost like they were anxious about something. Aang was even more uneasy about it than before. Why was everyone staring at him and why did they all look nervous? “Aang, there’s the rest of the gaang come on lets join them come on.” Katara said trying to distract Aang from all the nonsense. They sat down in the shade of one of the umbrellas and they both sat down on their own towels. It was a hot day but the sea breeze cooled them off. They relaxed for a moment.

Suddenly, they heard a commotion of whispers. Aang heard one person say “So, what. He’s the avatar we’ll invite him to our party he’ll be cool with us.” What did they mean by cool with us? Katara heard some more whispers like “Is that the avatar? Is that really the avatar? I hope he doesn’t hate us. Why is the avatar here? I’m sure if we get on his good side he’ll be cool with us.” Katara looked at Aang. Aang looked sick to his stomach. He had no idea what was going on. Almost everyone was talking about him behind his back. She felt really sorry for Aang. “So if you think we should invite him how about you go up and invite him.” one person said. “Ugh fine but you have to come with me.” The other person said. They heard foot steps coming near them.

“Um, uh……….uh……….uh uh uh uh we’re having a party tomorrow at our beach house Avatar and um do you know if you would like to come? You can invite all your friends too.” The person said. He had a light muscular structure with messy brown hair from the beach. He was shaking too. The guy on the left of him was pretty much the same except he was slightly more musclar and had a darker tan. Aang had no idea what to say. The guy was so nervous just talking to him. “Of course I would love to come. Thank you! I’ll bring my friends too.” Aang said with the biggest smile he could plant on his face. He wanted to assure them he meant no harm. “No problem.” The one on the left said. “We would love to have you there.” The guy on the right said. They seemed to be much less tense. Aang air bended himself up into a standing position. Katara stood up too. Aang greeted the two and said, “So what are your names?” “My name is Chad.” The guy on the right said. “My name is Tad.” “Hi Chad, Hi Tad.” Aang said. Katara felt it was her turn to speak. “I have a question Tad and Chad. Why is everyone staring at Aang and whispering about him. I mean that is so rude.” Katara said. The two boys looked speechless for a moment. “I’m sorry…it’s just that, that, that well……” Chad said. “I’m….uh sure it’s normal to uh get a little uh nervous around uh someone who uh has all the power in the uh world or more…uh I mean we weren’t like saying um uh anything rude about the avatar.” Tad mumbled.

Aang looked surprised. He never realized how powerful he really was. He didn’t know that would make anyone nervous. I mean he’s been around a lot of other people before and they never acted this way. Was it different though? I mean they were the fire nation. Maybe, they thought that he hated them or something. That was probably it. How come would they still think that he would still be mad after all those years if the world was at peace? So many questions went through Aang’s mind all at once. Aang tried to calm himself down. Katara never thought of Aang that way. She never realized how powerful he really was. Although, she knew Aang and they didn’t. She knew Aang would never unleash his great power unless he really had to. I mean he didn’t even kill the firelord. He was that in control of his avatar state. “Well it’s not like I’m going to do anything bad.” Aang muttered. “Yeah….” Tad and Chad said.

“Come on Aang, we came here to have fun. Let’s just go in the water, just forget them Aang.” Katara said trying to distract Aang again. Katara kissed him on the cheek and smiled. Aang and Katara went into the water they started passing around a ball of water and splashing each other. Everyone was staring at them. They weren’t use to seeing water bending around them. Katara and Aang didn’t care. Aang was too focused on Katara and Katara was too focused on Aang. As long as they were having a great time together, staring couldn’t stop them from doing that. So, what they were staring at them big deal what were they going to do. Sokka was working on one of his sand sculptures of Suki. Toph was showing Sokka how it was done. After a while Katara and Aang stepped out of the water and dried off. They lied down on their towels and let the warm sun dry them off. When they were dry they both stood up and looked around. They saw a beach ball game going on. Aang started walking to it, Katara followed him. When they saw the Avatar they all jumped for a moment. “Can we play?” said Aang. Both teams began to whisper amongst each other. “Well, it won’t exactly be fair since you’re the Avatar…” one of the guys said. Aang’s eyes began to water. It was the same as before (de javu). Aang took out his glider and flew off. “AANG!!!!!!!!!!!!” Katara said.

[nicole0deon]

singer singer singer
i just wanted to say hi. lmao xD
but now that i'm here might as well read this (that right there ^)
only thing i'm complaining about is the fact that its like a wall of text. it'd be easier to read if you break it up a bit. other then that, pretty good

[fournations93]

Well here is your feedback! Wewt!

Nice installment. I suggest you break it up, like what nicole said. Its kinda hard to read. And at the beginning of the chapter they didn't like people staring at them but then when they waterbended they no longer cared? I suggest you put in a line that explains it.. like..

"They were so absorbed in their waterbending and each other that they didn't notice the people staring at them. So absorbed that they didn't care about anyone else but each other."

Or something like that.. Anyone, nice chapter Keep writing.

[singer321]

Thank you so much for your awesome advise!!!!! It helps make my fanfics better. I never would have thought about breaking it up. Thank you and book 2 part 2 is coming soon. ;D

[singer321]

Aang took off on his glider way too fast. Katara could do nothing about it. He flew off and that was it. Katara looked up at the sky with disappointment in her eyes. She thought she could get him before he flew off into the blue sky. She began to cry. She forced the tears flowing down her face to stop. She knew she had to find Aang.

She hiked back to the beach house as fast she could. As she walked, she thought of possible places Aang might be. Ember Island wasn’t too big. She knew she could find him. She hopped up on Appa and said with hope in her voice, yip yip. She shot off into the sky. She scanned the area below to see of any possible places Aang could be. She knew Aang wouldn’t be in public areas, so she already eliminated that factor.

Then at the glimpse of an eye, she saw a glow. It was a very bright white glow. It seemed to be coming from the outside of a small bunch of palm trees. “It’s got to be Aang!” Katara said. Appa flew down to the area. They landed with a loud thump. She walked over to see Aang sitting down. He was glowing extremely bright, and an air sphere was beginning to form around him. She came just in time. “Aang!” Katara said. Aang was lifting off the ground. Katara held Aang’s glowing hand. She looked up at him and saw he was sobbing. His tears were even glowing. She held his hand tightly. She felt a flow of energy going through it. “Aang please, tell me what’s wrong!” Katara said. “EVERYTHING!!!” Aang said in his avatar state voice. Katara shivered from the voice that came out of him. Katara kissed his hand and he began to slowly land onto the sandy ground.

When he landed on the ground he was still glowing and holding Katara’s hand. Katara went up to him and hugged him. The air sphere stopped forming around him. Katara could feel the tears still flowing down his cheeks. His glowing began to stop too. He hugged Katara. “I’m sorry Katara….” Aang said. “It’s okay Aang.” Katara said. Katara kissed Aang on the cheek. “Tell me Aang……what’s wrong?” Katara said. They both sat back down. Aang was staring at the ground. “It’s just well…I don’t know why but….it reminded me of the time when I found out I was the avatar. I remember I made the air scooter. I taught the other air benders the move. Then they made a game out of it. I asked them if I could play. Just because I was the avatar they said it wouldn’t be fair on which team I went on. It’s not like I got all mad about just that though. I hated the fact that well people were…were…fearing me. I mean I don’t understand. Why would they? I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t even kill the fire lord. I didn’t even kill any of the soldiers at that village. I made sure that they were only injured. So, why…WHY would they ever fear me like that? I did nothing. I did nothing to them. And when that guy told me I couldn’t play…because I was the avatar…that just got to me…..” Aang said.

“Aang I’m sure there’s a reason better than what chad and tad said. I know what ever it is we can fix it.” Katara said. Aang looked in Katara’s eyes while Katara looked in Aang’s. They both kissed each other on the lips. Aang grasped his staff and they both leaped up on Appa. They flew off back to the beach house. When they landed the rest of the gaang was standing right there with worried faces. “Where were you?! We had no idea where you were!” Sokka said. Katara and Aang explained everything. “We need to find someone we can ask about this.” Sokka said. “We got to know why everyone fears Aang so much.” Suki said. “Hmmmm….what if…SUKI…what if you go ask someone out there….what if you ask them about Aang...” Sokka said. “Sure, I’ll do that.” Suki said without hesitation.

She walked up to one of the guys. She started a conversation with him about the beach and the waves and what not. Then she started mentioning the avatar. “So, if I’m correct the avatar was here?” Suki said. “Yeah, he was can you believe it. I saw him with my own eyes. Man, I hope he doesn’t hate us…I really wanted to get to know him. I’ve heard he’s done some pretty cool stuff. I heard he’s also going to this party tomorrow at Tad and Chad’s beach house. I heard when they were talking to the avatar that they were like so nervous that they said the most stupid things. I forget exactly but, I heard it got his girl friend pretty mad. She said something was rude, I’m not sure.” The guy said. “Why would the avatar hate you guys?” Suki said. “Um..I’m sure that you know this but our nation was the cause of all of a war…and I’m sure the avatar doesn’t like that. And if he does hate us he could do something really…um…bad….” The guy said. “I see…so what’s your name?” Suki said. “My name is Chan.” Chan said. “My name is Suki.” Suki said. Suki walked off into the distance, Chan had the most confused look on his face.

She greeted another guy. The guy’s name was Tyro. She asked him about the avatar’s appearance. “Yeah, the avatar was here…he wanted to play beach ball with us…we told him it wouldn’t be fair on which team he went on...he got really mad about that…he flew off into the sky…” Tyro said. “I see…so why is everyone nervous of his appearance?” Suki said. “You don’t know? Well, he’s the avatar you don’t want to say anything wrong to the avatar. We all want to meet him too. He’s done some awesome stuff. I just don’t know what to say. And over there at the game, well that was certainly not a good move.” Tyro said. “Oh I get it now.” Suki said. She walked off and waved good bye.

Suki sauntered back to the house to deliver the news. She explained everything. “Aang they just want to meet you. All we got to do though is assure them in some way that you don’t hate them or anything.” Katara said. “In my opinion twinkle toes should just act himself at the party.” Toph said. “Yeah, the party is the best way to do it.” Sokka said. “Do you want to go back out?” Katara said. “I’m thinking we go out to eat.” Sokka said. “Yeah, I’d rather go eat….I don’t feel like going back right now.” Aang said. “I understand Aang.” Katara said. They walked over to one of the nearest restaurants. They took a seat. “You’re the avatar!”……

[singer321]

I'll edit it soon.

[fournations93]

Ooh a cliffhanger.. And the breakin up is better =P It's easier to read

[singer321]

Thank you!!! =D

[singer321]

“You’re the avatar!” the waitress said while handing everyone at the table a dark red menu. She wore a red silk robe with gold that was hinted on the lining. Her light brown hair was pinned up with a red flower that pulled the look together. She looked about 25 but while looking at Aang, the avatar, she looked more like a scared child. Her mouth was slightly open with shock. Though she looked frightened, she had much of awe on her mind. She heard the avatar was in Ember Island but never thought about him coming to the restaurant she worked at and be one of her customers.

“It is an honor to have you here Avatar Aang.” The waitress said. “…Thank you…” Aang mumbled modestly. “My name is Kwan and I will be serving you this evening.” Kwan said. “Would you all like some tea?” Kwan asked. “Yes, please.” Katara said. Kwan darted back to the kitchen. “I’m STARVING!!!” Sokka said abruptly. “She will be coming back with some tea Sokka, you’ll be fine.” Katara said while fumbling through the menu. There was an awkward silence that lasted for about 2 minutes. Then Kwan came back with five steaming cups of spice tea. She handed everyone a cup of it. “Do you know what you would like to order?” Kwan asked in a hurry. “Yes!” Sokka said.

Aang, Katara Suki and Toph all ordered a salad while Sokka ordered some kind of meat. When Kwan finished writing the orders down on her red velvet writing pad, she raced back to the kitchen. The silence at the table continued for 5 additional minutes. Aang looked like he was about to cry. Finally, Katara broke the silence. She scooted over to Aang and put her right arm around him. “Aang...are okay?” Katara asked with anxiety in her voice. Aang looked down at Katara and spoke in almost a whisper. “Everything…it’s so different but I feel like…” Aang said but he couldn’t finish, he began to break into a sob. Katara softly wiped away his tears. “I feel like something else…something else is going to come…I don’t know what it is...I just…” Aang said but he couldn’t finish. It was like every word he said was agony for him. “What do you mean?” Katara asked curiously. “I don’t know…I don’t know…I don’t know…I feel like the war isn’t really over like something else is going to come…and…and..oh I don’t know…” Aang muttered. Katara looked at him, trying to find some hint or clue of what he meant of his words. “Oh, Aang everything is going to be alright…it’s just different…” Katara said. Aang opened his mouth to say something but shut it immediately when the waitress came back with their food. Aang grabbed his chop sticks and gradually began eating. Sokka devoured his food in only a matter of seconds. Not even taking a breath to chew it.

Katara look up at Aang again. She could still see the sorrow in his eyes. She knelt his chin down slightly, while closing her eyes she kissed him softly on the lips. Aang blushed gently and almost smiled. “We need to talk Aang, just you and me, about this. Is that ok with you?” Katara said. Aang nodded his head weakly. Soon, everyone was finished eating. “Well, we’re all done…so I think we should go back after we pay…” Suki said. “You all should go ahead. Aang and I need to talk.” Katara said. “Okay…” Suki said.

The gaang strolled out of the restaurant. Just when Katara was about to say something the waitress came back to collect the plates. Aang shuffled through his pocket for the money for the meal. “Oh no no, no, no, Avatar. We will take care of that. As I said, it was an honor having you here.” Kwan said. “Thank you so much Kwan!” Aang said with a smile. “Your welcome!” She said. Kwan paced back to the kitchen. “Aang I want to know…

[singer321]

“Aang I want to know what is going on. What is worrying you Aang?” Katara said hesitantly. “It’s so hard to explain. I think something is going to come. I feel like, well, something bad is going to happen….” Aang garbled. “Aang I know how you feel, but you have to know the war IS over.” Katara alleged with hope in her voice. “Katara I know this war is over, but I think something new, something completely different is coming.” Aang said starring into Katara’s eyes. “How could she understand? I know something is going to happen but how can I prove this?!” Aang thought. “I don’t expect you to understand but, I guess I could say it’s an avatar thing.” Aang said gliding his hand across Katara’s cheek. “Aang, I believe you. I just wish I knew what it was. I wish I knew why this is going to happen. I wish I knew how and when. It’s just so hard to except that something just as bad as the war could be coming!” Katara cried. “I don’t know I just have had a warning almost. I can’t explain it…I know I must be ready. I have to be…” Aang said with a frown across his face. “Aang, I love you…I know you are ready. You are more then ready, for anything. You can do this, whatever it is I KNOW you can do this.” Katara said in a determined voice. “I love you too Katara…I know..but I need to be prepared..” Aang said genuinely. Aang gently put Katara’s hands in his, holding them tenderly. Steadily, Aang looked back into her eyes, while a miniature smile ran across his face. “Aang, you know…WE WILL be prepared, we will…and you won’t have to stop whatever is on your own!” Katara exclaimed. “I think I might have to do this on my own, but I’m not too sure. I don’t want you all to risk--- Aang began but Katara cut him off. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS BY YOUR OWN AANG!!! You will not no matter what it is you will NOT!!!” Katara cried. Tears began falling down Katara’s cheeks at an excessive speed. Aang grabbed Katara and held her tightly.

After a few seconds he kissed her lightly on her forehead, while wiping away her tears. “Katara”, Aang said serenely. “I don’t know what’s going to happen…of course you could help me if you wanted…” Aang said soothingly. “You will not go alone Aang I am coming with you. The world can’t loose you again.” Katara said soon regretting the words she had said. “I…I…I didn’t mean to…” Aang said. A small tear slid down his cheek. “Aang?” Katara said in an almost frightened tone. Aang’s arrows begun to glow slightly, but then it returned, after an instant, to its natural color. Aang slipped himself out from the table. He couldn’t take it. He had to know what it was. Although, he couldn’t understand, the dream he had that night. It made absolutely no sense.

Aang’s Dream (Aang is speaking): I was in bed. I could feel a cold breeze sweeping over my face. I open my eyes to the pitch dark room. I stepped out of bed on too the dark wooden floor. I crept into the hall way and I walked up the beach and towards the shore. I found I was not in control of my limbs but yet I had full control of them. Though, I felt the need to go where they were taking me. All the emotion of me drained from my body as I stepped into the ocean. Everything went dark; darker than the pitch dark bedroom even outside with a crescent moon hanging above me in the ocean water (I had waterbended an air bubble so I could breath). Then all I felt as though my avatar state had been activated. Although, I was somewhere else I was on an Island but this was the same place. This looked like the same place as when I was on the Lion-turtle. I dove into the water and began to swim to what I thought would be the front of the Lion-turtle. I realized I was swimming in circles going no where. Then I saw something from the distance. It was hovering over the pink and purple horizon. It looked like someone but I couldn’t distinguish who it was. I began to feel great rage looking at him. The man hovering over the horizon was lifting himself with airbending. I looked into the eyes of him. I don’t know why but it looked like an avatar only, he was evil, mad with power. I took another glance back at him but he vanished into the sky. Then I saw a different person but the person looked rather familiar, more memorable than the other man. He had much power, but he wasn’t mad with it. When I looked into his eyes, he disappeared into the sky just like the evil man from before. Then I awoke….

[singer321]

Aang’s Dream (Aang Speaking): Then I awoke, thinking the dream had ended. I noticed Katara sitting next to my bed side as my eyes adjusted to the light in the room. She looked at me…she was sad. She was sliding her shaking hand across my face in a slow tempo. She began to speak in an almost dream like voice. “With great power comes responsibility. You have the responsibility. You have the power to control your own. You can stop what is coming as long as you remember to control yourself…” Katara soothed. Her voice was like a spirits, but it still sounded like her. “With great power comes a responsibility…with this power Aang you will save…” Katara said but, she never finished. She vanished into thin air.

(Aang Speaking): I woke up back into the same room. My body jumped in shock. I decided to check on Katara. I wanted to make sure she was ok. I bounded off the bed with a swift air blow. Then I darted to the hallway and down to her room. When I had reached my destination, I quietly opened the door. My hand twisted carefully on the door, cautioned to make not even the slightest sound of even a squeak. When I closed the door softly behind me, my eyes scanned around the room. I discovered Katara was perfectly sound asleep sprawled across the dark red bed. She looked completely out of it. Her chest breathed up and down, as her eyes stayed perfectly sealed shut. Her long brown hair fell around the white pillow that nestled her head. I smiled in contentment. I leisurely walked towards the door. I twisted the knob and opened the door, looked back for one more glance of her and closed the door without a sound. I stepped back to the room casually. I walked back in the room. Then I crawled back into bed, closed my eyes and fell asleep waiting for the next day.

(This is back at the restaurant. Aang is still speaking.) I don’t get what it could mean. I just don’t understand it. It didn’t matter though; I had to leave the restaurant. I knew my avatar state was triggering. I couldn’t hurt Katara…I couldn’t hurt anyone there. I wish I could have told her. I should have….she must be so hurt that I left like that. I began to cry but I held back my tears. No, I’m sure she understands and I can always explain it to her tomorrow. I could see the eyes of others glance at me. I ignored it as much as I could. I couldn’t take the starring eyes any longer. I pulled out my staff and flew towards the sky. I landed at the beach house. I dashed to my room and closed the door silently. I climbed into my bed and fell asleep. I needed to know what that meant I needed to know what this all meant. Suddenly I woke from a knock on the door.

(Katara speaking): My body was shaking from the shock. Aang’s arrows grew bright but, I could tell he was controlling himself as much as he could. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! KATARA!!!!!!! I should never have said that to Aang. I should have known! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! Aang must be so hurt… Of course he walked out on me…though I had to say that. I can’t let him go alone. The avatar can not leave no, NO he will not. I know Aang has so much power but…how do I know what’s coming. Oh Aang please come back soon. I constantly kept thinking. I hope he is home. I got up from the table and walked outside. Aangs arrows were glowing slightly on and off. He must be in so much pain. “Aang…” I said softly not loud enough for anyone to hear but that was all I could let out as he flew off into the distance. My eyes began to tear up uncontrollably. I sprinted to in Aang’s direction as fast as I could. I ran and ran but I got no where. Panting, I decided it was best if I just waited till the morning.

After an hour or so I made it to the beach house. I walked up into the hallway. I glanced towards Aang’s room. His door was closed. All of hope jetted through my body at an excessive pulse. I scurried to the door and knocked on it with anxiety racing through me at the same time. Could Aang really be in there? Then, I heard the sound of the door knob being turned. I beamed when I saw Aang standing right in front. His eyes were drowsy but, when he saw it was me his eyes opened wide in contentment. I through my hands around his neck and held him tight. Aang smiled and wrapped his hands around my waist. He kissed my lips lightly and then spoke “I’m so sorry Katara I left because my avatar state was triggering and…” I didn’t let him finished. I pressed my lips against several times as he repeated in response. “I’m sorry I should never have said what I said…” but then the conversation ended. He held myself tighter to him and kissed him as he kissed me almost uncontrollably.